mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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