I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
