i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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