She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
