I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
