Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
