We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
