I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
