It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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