I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
