Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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