we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
