sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
