Non-Jews are for practice
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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