Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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