nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize