She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Someone came in the potted fern
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize