I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
