i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
