He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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