Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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