I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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