So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
