6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
