So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
