the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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