Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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