He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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