I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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