just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
