apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
