Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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