let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
