Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
