Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
