that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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