if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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