If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
