More tranny stories later!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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