we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
