Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
