I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize