I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
