girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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