All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
