I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
