I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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