just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I would ride that face into the sunset
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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