since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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