do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Terrible idea I love it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
