i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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