Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
