Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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