do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize