"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
be right there i have to get my cape
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
