I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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