so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
worst night to have a conscience
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
