operation harelip BJ is a go
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
