i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
