just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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