I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The best revenge is premature balding
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
