Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
