Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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