super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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